Friday, 17 April 2009

If you go down to the woods today...

"I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now". Bob Dylan

There are many things I know now I wish I'd known before. There's the practical stuff, there's the more esoteric stuff and then there's the other stuff.

For example, why didn't anyone tell me about the pulling power of cute dogs? Archie's a regular visitor these days and strolling through Kelvingrove Park it's amazing to watch women visibly melt as they lay eyes on the wee scamp. Also, rather incredibly, I'm suddenly transformed into an attractive proposition for a conversation. This would have been priceless information to a young chap.

A spot of blossom photography helped cement my new fey image. But just before turning my toes inwards and humming a Belle and Sebastian song something happened.

Irresistible wild garlic popping it's wiggy head above the ground and a mystery oniony thing that smelt very oniony. Phew, that was close. I could be wrong, but as far as I know, fey men don't leap fences, rip up plants and stuff them into doggy poop bags. 

Things happen in city centre parks that would make a pirate blush, so everything got a good wash.

One thing I was told when younger was to never eat certain things. Toadstools, berries and anything Mrs Evans offered us. But I'm more reckless now and despite failing to identify the strange oniony things, I ate one. It was delicious. Like the sweetest spring onion imaginable. After another three I decided to wait a bit and see if anything bad happened. In the meantime I chopped the wild garlic and stuffed some lamb (delicious) and made a pesto (tasty but sludgy). All very intense flavours so a tricky wine match. Then I had a brain wave. Summer = Cider. And it worked rather well. Proper stuff from Herefordshire. You can buy this in Sainsbury's and Morrisons. It's cheaper in Morrisons.

Since I'm writing this it's fair to say, so far at least, four strange oniony things isn't enough to kill, but my stomach was upset the next day. Coincidence? Or possibly the toxic heavy metal legacy of Glasgow's industrial past.

"Funny the things you think of, a long time after you should". WS

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