Sunday, 7 March 2010

A Date With Douglas Blyde


I love Marylebone, London's your doorstep yet it feels like a place in itself. It would make a very nice Principality, one of those oddities the Europeans seem so fond of... like Monaco, Liechtenstein and Andorra. Of course it would require a Prince and something else quirky like it's own number plates, but once in place think of the benefits, tourists and tax dodgers would love it.

We were staying for a week with our lovely and very tolerant friends Jane and Andy, on Dorset Square, once home to George Grossmith, co-author of that brilliant satire on the aspiring middle classes, 'The Diary of a Nobody'. It was also the original site of Lord's cricket ground.


Douglas Blyde would make a good Prince of Marylebone. He certainly shines as an ambassador for the place, although he may need to swat up a bit on the geography. He recently spent time strolling and extolling it's foodie virtues to a Belgian journalist and suggested re-running some of the tour for our first formal meet up.

I've been a fan of 'Intoxicating Prose' since first stumbling across it, but you always wonder if you're going to meet the same 'person' in the flesh.

On arriving I could have sworn the woman at the desk of The Providores Tapa Room almost curtsied when we said who we were meeting. Douglas himself was ensconced in a large high backed banquette surveying all before him. I resisted the temptation to bow.

After shaking hands on the stroke of midday his first suggestion was a Wasabi Martini, my kind of ruler... and it was superb. The kick of the martini disguising the heat of the wasabi, what's left is a lovely earthy lick. I must find out how to make these.

The Providores belongs to Peter Gordon, fusion's original London practitioner, the food in the Tapa Room is very good but we had other fish to fry so wandered off to Fishworks for some oysters.


... only to be informed there was a ban on British oysters because of poisoning incidents. Douglas was sceptical, so was I. Just two days before I'd been wolfing them down in Marylebone Farmers Market. Native, rock and a new find for me, hard shell clams, which I thought were quite possibly even better than the incredibly fresh oysters. All from the Maldon Oysters van, half a dozen for a fiver.

Anyway, Fishworks wouldn't sell us any, so we wandered down Moxon Street to visit La Fromagerie, a veritable temple to fermented milk.


As the name implies, it's the cheese you come here for, although they do good bread, food and wine too. The star attractions are kept in perfect condition in a giant walk in humidor. You can eat in, but at weekends the queues can be long.


Being rather obsessed by the Cathars I recognised this cross straight away. The label said it was mild and gently nutty... rather like the Cathars themselves. They were dualists who'd observed the world around them and concluded, not entirely unreasonably, that it must be the work of an 'evil' god. Their priests lived in holes in the ground and were determined to be unsullied by his evil matter. Hopefully this cheese came from a 'good' god's matter.


It was raining heavily by now and we were very hungry but still couldn't make up our minds about lunch. So we opted for a place where we didn't have to. Le Relais de Venise L'Entrecote on Marylebone Lane doesn't take bookings and the only choice is how you want your steak cooked.


You get a basic walnut salad first, followed by steak with very authentic frites and a bizarre sauce which had a whiff of Thai green curry about it. The waitress said it was made in France and heated up here, so no-one knew what was in it. Not terribly reassuring. According to the menu the beef comes from Donald Russell and it was very good. All this for £21 which is pretty good value in central London. Douglas chose a Corbieres from the short list, it had a slightly metallic tang which worked well with the bloody beef.


Le Relais de Venise is essentially a British teenagers take on a Parisian brasserie. All the 'yucky' French stuff is off the menu, just steak and chips remain. Nice steak and chips right enough and the place does have a lovely, buzzy atmosphere.

We popped down Thayer Street for ice cream and coffee in Cocorino.


Amazing ice cream. I tasted a few, incredibly the Sesamo was like an ice cream version of Nutrageous. Despite loving this particular confection, cold and melty seemed wrong, so I went for Pannacotta Caramello, coquettishly the Italian waitress said it was her favourite too. She's not daft.

Bouyed up on sugar and booze we slipped off to Farringdon.


I've wanted to visit St John for years. Founder and chef Fergus Henderson's mantra is if you're going to kill something for food then you'd better give it the respect of eating it all. Admirable, and in his place as it turns out, damn tasty too.


We weren't hungry but had to order one of his signature dishes.


Roasted veal marrow bones, spooned out onto toast and sprinkled with salt. Delicious.


Douglas chose a Minervois which I rather liked but he described as smelling like an excited Labrador. Inscrutably not offering whether he thought this was a good or bad thing. I suppose it depends how much you like sniffing dogs.


We had a nosey at the salting pigs livers, admired the genius of the tapering table in the very public private room then headed across the road to Vinoteca.


We finished off a great afternoon with a delicious Portugese number. They have a really fascinating range of wines in Vinoteca, amost too good, I'd have been ages choosing on my own. As we chatted, not in the slightest bit hungry, I glanced at the menu... it read so well I very nearly ordered something. All the dishes came with wine recommendations too. Nice touch.


Many thanks Douglas, we had a lovely afternoon, so good to finally meet up, but watch out... because when a London wine bar boasts a menu more apetising and imaginative than any place in Glasgow just now... there may soon be a pretender to the Marylebone throne!


Monday, 1 March 2010

One for the price of two


I came up with a great plan recently. Drink less, drink better. Instead of two wines for £5.99 drink one at £11.99. Benefiting both pleasure and health. Cunning... or so I thought. This was my first venture.

Unfortunately it is utterly, totally delicious, I can't stop drinking it and at £10.99 a bottle it's costing me a fortune. Beguilingly complex wine with a gorgeous texture that's almost waxy. It smells like being inside a top notch Italian deli... salami, icing sugar, honey, lemon, nuts... panatone? On the palette it's a bit like when the runny centre of a boiled sweet bursts. Best drunk not too cold. My extensive experiments have determined ten minutes in the freezer box to be about perfect.

After picking up my latest bottle I was dithering over which red to buy. A very upright older gentleman turned to me and said in a thick French accent, "Zis one is a very good bottle of wine, it iz delicious for the money". What the hell, I'm of an age where acting on the suggestions of older strangers is no longer so much of a concern...

When a Frenchman recommends an Italian's wine you know it must be good. It was, exceedingly good for £7.99. Possibly not to everyone's taste... quite structured, with a piercing smell that reminded me of proper cider, the stuff where the farmers bung in the odd carcass with the fermenting apples to help "flavour it up a bit see".
I was thinking while drinking it, why is a Frenchman a Frenchman but an Italian just an Italian?


Both wines came from Waitrose:
Verdicchio di Matelica (not quite Metalica): £10.99
Barbera D'Asti Superiore, I Tre Vescovi: £7.99

Friday, 26 February 2010

Fashion Splodge


I don't know that much about fashion but I know what I like...

My favourite 'off schedule' party at the last London Fashion Week was Digitaria's. They've since changed their name to MACHINE-A, a better name, and their party was even better than last time... once I'd managed to squeeze my way in, and I'm not really 'squeezing' material.

Earlier that day we'd been in Hoxton, where the square really is the only square around. After watching someone's dog rip another's to pieces in Old Street tube station, I spent an hour in a vintage shop watching someone try on the same dress. Eventually concluding that since it was really just the sleeves she liked, there was no point in buying it. Then I had a fashion moment and just blurted out... "Sleeve-ees" .. you what? "Sleeve-ees, detachable sleeves that you can add on to any outfit" ... erm, I see, and how would they stay on... "Err, Velcro".. don't think that would work... "Some sort of chain, yes, some sort of chain at the front and back"... I, at least, was very pleased with this.

So as I was bobbing up and down next to Warboy's decks, I started imaging how different it will be next time...

Hey, look over there, the awkward looking chap in the hot looking coat (hot in the original sense), next to Johnny Blue Eyes, that's Fashion Splodge, Mr Sleeve-ees!
Then I happened to glance down at some of the shop's merchandise...

No way... fing-ees! Looks like Gabriella Marina Gonzalez is heading in the same direction. I'd better be quick... this is gonna be big.

No weird drinks this time, just lots and lots of lager and some brilliant Toby jugs.

Check out STYLE SCANNER who'll shortly be posting pics of the many talented and beautiful people who were at this party. In the meantime, here's an excellent film of a Gabriella Marina Gonzalez fashion show by Matthew Charlie Robinson.



Monday, 22 February 2010

Thoroughly Boroughly


Happy grass fed free range organic smiley faced foie gras burgers in a Danish farmers rye kerplotten bun... or words to that effect. The riverside entrance to Borough Market is rammed full of 'added value' fast food. Frankfurter? No. Sustainable Welsh-oak smoked wild boar sausage? Probably. The considerable queues were populated by affluent thirty something foodies, dribbling lifestyle from their favourite orifice. By the time I'd squeezed through to the market proper I was covered in a patchwork of expensive stains.

It was my first time this weekend. All anyone has ever said to me for years is, "Oh you've got to, you'll absolutely love it ", so of course, I never went. This Saturday the weather was beautiful and the hangover hadn't fully set in, so I went. I always crave seafood the morning after the night before.

Brown shrimps. £3.50 per 100g. Everyone else thought they looked like maggots, which I suppose they do, so I got to scoff the lot while musing on the poor sod who had to peel them and wondering what maggots might taste like.

Borough Market is impressive. It's no Boqeria, but it must be the best farmers market in the country... in the city. There's an awful lot to nibble, chew and slurp.

And while some prices are a bit steep, most are reasonable for central London, especially given the quality.

My favourite spot at the market was Bedales. A great little haven of very good wine and I bumped into Douglas Blyde of Intoxicating Prose! Nice to finally meet London's premier wine blogger.

Jane fancied a Pomerol and the guys suggested this.

Seriously good wine, savoured outside because inside was full. There's something about drinking Pomerol alfresco in February from quality glassware... it's just so... lifestyle. As we drank a little spill joined my jumper alongside a blob of Jamaican goat curry. Nice.




Sunday, 14 February 2010

Truly, Madly, Deeply


Wherever I go these days, I'm reminded that my heart is no longer my own. For just over a year now, a longing, loving, craven desire has been growing inside me, and it doesn't go away. First thing in the morning, last thing at night and all through the day. Alone, I call out their name, when others are there, I whisper it. Daily, I'm teetering on the edge of a wonderful abyss.

And love really does hurt. Embraces, such as they are, so fleetingly short, and then, the aching pain of being apart.

Alone I am empty. Going through the motions. A hollow, hungry shell. Eating myself up from the inside.

Only when we're together will I be whole.

I didn't really do confectionery till we met. Now I can't stop. Salty, nutty, caramel filled bar of joy. Nothing else comes close. Hard to track down, available in The Cave, where I've started buying bottles of wine that I don't really need... "Is that all?"... "Oh, wait a minute, can I get...." ... "Pardon?"... "Erm yes, I did say four". Then last night I couldn't see any. The girl behind the counter said, "No, there's none left, I ate them". Her pal looked startled, "What all of them?"... "Yeah, they were going out of date".... Alone again.

Reese's Outrageous NutRageous
Available from THE CAVE & LUPE PINTOS, I LOVE CANDY and some Sainsbury's.